I did the blog thing. I wrote two posts, and then was never seen again.
I worry that my life isn’t interesting enough to talk about, that no one could possibly ever have any interest in anything that I have to say, and given that this is the internet, that is completely true. Therefore, I should never have let myself fail to return to this site for so long.
There’s a contentment in creation, a satisfaction that comes from having Done the Thing, and maintenance doesn’t have quite the same hormonal thrill, and as such, is not nearly such a joy. This, more than anything else, is the trap that I fall in to. I do enough that I can convince myself that I’ve done enough, and then I rest on my phantom laurels until Inertia, my patron saint, takes over, and then I am an immovable object.
Which is a lot of words to confess that I am lazy. I am a lazy person.
But rather than start over completely, I will keep my shameful three year gap in writing on the record as a reminder of what happens to me when I let Inertia run my life. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to be as susceptible to the Object in Motion half of inertia, preferring to remain an Object at Rest for as long as is humanly possible, or perhaps slightly longer.
I am still working on the as-yet-untitled novel, or I should say, I am working on it again. That three year gap wasn’t just from this page, it was also from my actual productive writing. One hundred thousand words in, and I still have no ideas for a title. I’m quite bad at titles, I get a lot of anxiety around the idea of naming a thing. It feels irrationally final, as though the name becomes the thing, and changing it would be disingenuous. This is ridiculous, of course. Spouse and I both changed our names when we got married, everyone here in the 21st Century has at least one screen name, and I add names to my dog like he’s the rightful heir to the Iron Throne.
Yet here I am, concerned that a working title, or a temporary name would somehow damage the future credibility of any final title. I also fear that I am bad at titles, tending towards the grand and away from the descriptive. My first book (unpublished forever because it’s bad) is called Forgotten But Not Gone, which sounds like a book about the lasting damage to families after a loved one has been kidnapped or otherwise disappeared, and never found, but is actually a book about a trio of misfits on a fantasy mystery adventure to discover something completely new.
To make things self-inflictingly worse, I am loathe to continue with the file named “BOOK” as it currently is. If the name is part of the substance of the book, then it deserves a better one.
Therefore, I will give it a code name. Something intended to be replaceable, and not descriptive of the contents.
Welcome to the reinvigorated adventures of Project Sunrise.